Escapism, creativity, vulnerability
I have a lot of big feelings about being 30, especially around transitions. These range from career, family, friendships and relationships. Sometimes I just want a juice box and a nap, but these are temporary solutions that give me short term happiness. Anyway, this blog started as something that came out of a prosecco filled girly date and eventually became a journey of self-discovery. Connecting with different types of bloggers gave me a different perspective on things, and it also seems to be a different type of learning, the kind I prefer. Writing became an alternative for the juice box, somewhat a form of escapism.
Escapism
Escapism is one way to stop spending all those hours thinking about life's stressors and find a way to escape. This is the creative solution. I love the idea of stepping out of my usual writing for grades into writing for fun, writing about anything else that makes me tick. The more I've spent time on this website, the more I have realised this is my unconventional way of navigating my transitions. It is interesting because the more I have stepped into this creative space, the more I have confronted my issues and been really vulnerable. I might actually care about this thing.
The Vulnerable Space
Vulnerability often has a negative connotation to it. No one wants to reveal the ooey-gooey side of themselves. But, vulnerability is a crucial ingredient to success – it promotes curiosity, creativity, innovation and authentic connections. So vulnerability is the courage and permission to be our true selves and be open to risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure. This also becomes the place where creativity is born.
Vulnerability is simply openness
It is a whole different conversation when it comes to the big bad internet. I cannot count the number of times I felt a little queasy before pressing "publish" and worse when I send to other media. Another crippling feeling I used to have was with Instagram, where I became self-critical of the picture I thought was nice, but it only got a few likes. Do people not think my picture is nice too? We're in a time of constant stimulation when we are fed content at a dizzying rate. Being seen — let alone heard is an uphill battle for artists. And even if people do find your content, our culture is more distracted than ever. What you spent hours on might be skimmed and discarded in seconds. Fear and creativity go hand in hand! Putting what you create out into the world takes a lot of guts. **That is why so many people hide their ideas in their heads. It is easier that way, much less scary. That is one of the main things I have realised during my time as someone who writes stuff on the internet.
Yea, what now?
Honestly, I'm still working it out. Whenever I hit publish, there will always be the possibility I could be perceived as dumb, wrong or heretical for what I say. But what seems clear to me is that vulnerability is a crucial part of why I do what I do. It helps to make connections with people. The relationships that make you feel like you aren't alone, the connections that can help me figure things out as well. So feeling sensitive about putting anything out there is — in some ways — part of the process. What I can do is learn how to deal with that anxiety constructively.
Vulnerability is not a weakness. It's really easy to feel exposed as a creative. The truth is, the work that seems to work out for me is where I'm at my most vulnerable. It's the kind of work I'm most proud of. And maybe that's because it took a risk to get there.
Whenever I am being self-critical, I have a friend who reminds me to be kind to myself and be mindful. And to be honest, one of the benefits of being mindful is that you become more compassionate, forgiving, and less judgemental towards yourself. Being creative, our inner self-critic, is our worst enemy. The more we can accept our inner negative thoughts, be kind to ourselves and be open, the more creative and effective we can be.
...anyway, take what you will from this!
