We are doing this romanticising life thing

This article is an appreciation to all the Genz-ers in my life. I have learnt so many life lessons from this group this year, and one of them is how to unapologetically be the main character of your life, AKA romanticizing life. I have no shame, but this idea of owning your main character energy perfectly describes who I aspire to be. It's a strange idea, isn't it? The possibility that we can unapologetically fall deeply and compassionately in love with ourselves. We are always socialized to direct our love outward; love is to give. There's this huge misconception that to romanticize your life, your life must be aesthetically pleasing or feel your best. And on self-love, despite the word's wide use in the common lexicon, it remains an elusive, hard-to-pin-down concept. This concept is also often determined by social media's idea of self-love and is often characterized as bubble baths, endless spa days, getting your hair done etc. The good news is these ideas continually evolve, and more notably recently, this concept of self-love is leaning more towards small and simple ways to incorporate a little romance into your life. I am honestly here for it. The best way to enjoy life is by finding wonder and being present. And even the smallest tasks, one of the most transformative ways I started doing this is with my morning routine. It is about doing things that make you feel good and learning to enjoy the little moments in life, and I decided to make a short list of what romanticizing my life looks like to me.

Pump up the jam

Hey Siri, play Dancing in the moonlight by Toploader.

“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

It's not news that listening to music releases dopamine and serotonin into the brain, helping you relax and stay focused. So I choose to start every day with a soundtrack. I haven't found anything more effective at shifting my mood than music. Listening to music throughout my day is a huge part of my day. When I wake up, I love to play upbeat music, and when I feel a little mushy on the inside, I listen to Sade. When I'm cleaning, I love to listen to my favourite songs, and then when I'm cooking, I love listening to something. When you intentionally put fun or relaxing music in the background of whatever you're doing throughout your day, it gives you a soundtrack to your life. It makes everything that you're doing feel like a moment.

Feeding positivity into my day

"What you want wants you, and what you are moving towards is moving towards you".

There is something about feeding positivity into your mind from when the morning starts. I'm gonna give an example of something like food. When you provide your body with a nourishing meal, even if you are the queen of procrastination like me, you feel like you have it together. However, starting the day with junk food can feel like a great idea until it's not. And then you begin to feel awful. Now imagine your mind. It is what you feed it, right? If I feed my morning with junk and negativity, this is the foot I am putting forward for the day. Now when I speak positivity, it's nourishing and encouraging. You believe you can get anything done and start off on that footing. There are many ways to do this, and I feed my morning with affirmations. Some of my favourites are the ones I learnt through the Ambrosia community.

That morning routine- ish

I don't have one of these! I freestyle almost every day. The morning starts with me contemplating getting out of bed. I whisper to myself an affirmation, toss and turn a few more times and say out loud, "Okay, let's get it!" (which apparently is a little weird when you sleep at other people's houses because what are we getting?). I hop out of bed, brush my teeth, put on the water to make the elixir of the gods… AKA coffee. I make the bed while I wait for the water, put on a soundtrack, take a moment to enjoy the coffee, and prepare to start the day, shower, and beg myself to stop procrastinating/ start working.

Getting out of the pyjamas

"What you wear is how you present yourself to the world…”

I used to work from home a lot in my pyjamas; many of us did at some point. But getting dressed every day really does make a massive difference in how I feel about my day. I love a little skincare routine, leaving my skin like a glazed donut, combing my hair, a little lip shine and something pretty to wear. So to romanticize my life every single day is to get cute. I love expressing myself through fashion and style; every day, I can be a different person. I can be another character and story, and I can express that and embody that with what I'm wearing. Even if I'm not going anywhere, putting on some perfume makes a difference in how I feel. I'm showing up for myself today.

Thank myself out loud

It’s challenging to show up for myself and honour my responsibilities. I get anxious, and sometimes getting out of bed is challenging. On the day when it feels heavy, I have to beg myself out loud to get out of bed, eat, and get work done. To overcome these hurdles, I consider that I cannot climb this mountain in one go; I break down my daily goals or tasks into smaller achievable goals. For every task accomplished, I cheer for myself, thank myself out loud, and let myself know I am proud. This is very important because I get to show up for myself, especially when I need it the most.

Scents

“Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains.”

I have always been such a lover of scents. Perfumes, reed diffusers, candles, I want it all. But I always waited for special occasions to light things up or to use a special perfume. I realised I had perfumes attached to emotions or occasions. I waited to wear these for a special event or a date, lighting candles for a special moment. I had to shift this mindset of waiting for the perfect time. Every day is a special occasion for me to show up for myself. When I wake up in the morning, I set the ambience and light the scented candles. It creates a mood of calamity, and the scents are so dreamy. After my morning shower, I spray that perfume; gone are the days of waiting for the perfect date to experience my perfume. Every day is a date with myself, which I will show up for and smell good for! Everyday day is a perfect date to light the candles and enjoy the moment.

Feed the body that works

Cooking or making a meal always felt like a nuisance for me. I just wanted to get it done quickly so I could go back to doing anything but that. Living alone and watching a lot of videos on youtube and reading articles about being an adult (I really am constantly seeking a handbook at doing this life thing), I kept seeing something about actually learning how to cook at home and enjoying it. So I started looking up some simple recipes and making time to cook properly and feed myself. I've learned to slow down and enjoy preparing my meal. I used to eat the same breakfast every day for efficiency, whereas now I enjoy trying new things. It's essential that I am more appreciative that I even have food on my table and pay closer attention to the energy that I'm putting into my food. Obviously,, that's only possible during some meals, but I try to do it at least once a day, whether my breakfast or dinner. I love cooking my meals from scratch while listening to music and making an experience out of it. Because, again, our relationship with our food, the energy we're putting into our food, really does affect us.

Clean up, clean up

“Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.”

Since I do most of my work at home, I like to ensure that my house feels like my sanctuary. I spent a lot of time and money decorating my space, not just because I wanted it to look cute but to feel like I was in my own sanctuary. Having a space that reflects your personality and mood can make a huge difference when trying to romanticize your life. Space is like an extension of you. When you're paying attention to it, it's like coming back to your own body; as you're cleaning it, you're more present in the space that you're in, you're more appreciative of it, and if you're playing music in the background, it just feels like a moment. Cleaning also helps me romanticize my life because it gives me room to appreciate the space I'm in. I always have candles and incense burning and music playing in the background.

Silver linings

In trying to embody optimism and feed positivity into my days, I tried to find the silver linings. I listen to the podcast The Guilty Feminist quite often, and I recall they had an episode called Silver Linings during the pandemic. We were all very caught up in the gloom of the lockdowns, and this was an attempt to find gratitude in the small things we experienced. This taught me to look at my shortfalls or what I saw as a bad day differently. Sorting yourself through your feelings and disappointment is necessary, and there's always a way to find the silver linings in bad situations. It might seem impossible when you're still reeling from being kicked in the teeth by life. Still, you can climb back onto your feet much easier by holding on to the knowledge that there's some positivity in the situation as you sort through your disappointments. Why? Because you know that you're in control of the situation, and a positive attitude will only encourage you to get things back on track faster rather than letting life win this round. So every day, when I experience a setback, at the end of the day, I try t reconcile that with a silver lining; it doesn't matter how small. Because again, as you start doing these things, you'll realize that you can pay attention to the small beautiful details in every single thing you're doing.

Looking inward

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.”

I have tried journaling the traditional way, but I need help to get it to work. Instead, I write little notes, which help me and bring me back to the present. It's challenging to be present sometimes; it almost feels like we are constantly chasing something from the sun comes up. Either looking forward or working on self-improvement of past mishaps, never the present. So, for me to be able to stay present, an unconventional journal has helped to keep me in the present. Even when I don't have time for this, I have had to teach myself to start romanticizing even the most minor, mundane parts of my life. Romanticizing your life isn't necessarily about doing specific things but having a particular mindset. No matter what you're doing, I've learned that by romanticizing and being present in every small moment in your life, you can find that same peace in other practices.